As I sit here at 11:37pm my mind ponders the events of recent months. How much I wanted to just let things slide but yet listened to the darkness within me that wanted revenge and wanted to hold on to anger because of my so called rights. In the calmness that I occassionally have I realise that I am still in love. But what is love that is not reciprocated?
I find myself being assailed by the memories of all that has happened. A very quiet voice says forgive her and start anew but I am so afraid. I don’t want to make anymore mistakes … I can’t afford to. I’ve made far too many in such a short span of time.
Papa, how do I make things right? Please help me make things right with the person that I love. Can she ever love me? Lord am I the right person for her? What do YOU want from me? I want to do the right thing … help me do the right thing because the right thing matters. Very much.
Here’s to thoughts that echo in the still of the night. May they make a difference when the dawn breaks.