Elusive Freedom

Hi everyone, I’ve been battling my thoughts & emotions a lot especially in the last 2 weeks. It’s tough when I don’t really understand why my heart still hurts after so long. My best bud J-son tells me that I know what I need to do and perhaps I do. But it just seems like such a chicken & egg thing cos’ it’s hard to ignore the hurt that’s so palpable when I get up in the morning. It’s FRUSTRATING!!! Sigh …

I don’t know if I still want to be with her or if I just want to move on and be with someone else. The worst part is that I don’t know how I can be with anyone else with such damaged emotions. When I sit down and close my eyes; a picture of my heart appears and I see it still bleeding & hurting. It’s sad that the people you love have such power to hurt you. For the most part I’ve succeeded in not looking back at things but it’s just come back all of a sudden with a vengeance in the past month or so.

At any rate I’ve had a huge measure of peace today after attending church at our brand new Dream Centre. It was strange being in such a huge place and at the start I felt so overwhelmed by all the people. I feel that DUMC as a whole is such a big place and I’m glad that at the very least we have cell groups that meet and minister to the needs at a micro level. It’s awesome being a part of this church and I’m a bit sad that with all my disappointments & heartache that I’m just not able to contribute to the church but I hope to be up & running soon. There is a part of me that just can’t wait to write a new stageplay and to take up cell leadership again. For now I guess I just gotta receive and really get deeper into God in this difficult period of my life. Here are some pix I took of our brand new sanctuary … AWESOME no?

My view from upstairs. Huge ain't it?

My view from upstairs. Huge ain't it?

Presenting the DUMC Dream Centre!

Presenting the DUMC Dream Centre!

There! I’ve gotten all of my negative thoughts out of my system, it’s time to get back to some Metroid Prime 2: Echoes after finish Metroid Prime 3: Corruption for the Wii. In time I hope to really live life out there with more freedom in my heart. Pray for me guys … in the meantime I wish everyone out there happy thoughts and lotsa love! I leave you guys with this cute picture I took of some kids playing at 1U in the concourse area … they made me feel happy cos’ life is good really isn’t it?

Life's full of colour to a child.

Life's full of colour to a child.

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