Breaking My Dead Silence

I’ve been super silent these past few weeks cos’ I’ve been doing a lot of traveling. I was in Cambodia and that was followed up by a recent trip to Singapore for Eagles Leadership Conference where I was thoroughly inspired by all that I heard there. In case some of you don’t know who Joni Eareckson-Tada is here’s a link to her website. I’ve been very touched by her sharing of her life to all those who attended the conference.

Joni Eareckson-Tada

Joni Eareckson-Tada

I have had the privilege of listening to her 3 times in the past few days and I look into my heart and I realise that the disabilities I have are far worse than Joni’s quadriplegia. The one thing that strikes me most is the pure joy that emanates from her and I shared with Juwita that I’ll miss hearing that. I am more disabled than Joni in her wheelchair. I am bound and trapped by my own selfishness, self-centredness and by self-pity. I’m not being who God wants me to be and I’m thankful that He shows me right now in this time of my life.

I have had to make hard choices in this past month especially. I have to let go of someone who has become very close to me and to trust God to bring her back to me if it’s within His plan but more importantly I have to right now work on things in my own life that I’ve struggled with immensely all this while. I want to lean on God in my weaknesses and come out of this strong and totally dependent on Him. I understand now that the pang of loneliness in my heart is one that is crying out for God. Even though I’ve known Him for almost all my life I have yet to totally give my life over to Him. I’m just as stubborn in having my own way as any other person. To be fair to myself I have grown a lot and learnt how to give up things to Him but I guess being human it takes us such a long time to really learn how to trust God completely with our lives. A very good friend of mine once said to me that the problem with being a living sacrifice is that we tend to wander of God’s altar. How true that is. How true.

I’ve got a few pix to post on my recent trip to Singapore. I’ll drop a link to them later tonight once I’ve uploaded the pix. Right now I just wanna close by thanking God for Joni Eareckson-Tada and the inspiration that she is to so many; that she allows God to use her and in her humility to not let her suffering become a crutch but rather a strength that gives God complete glory. I was just telling my business partner Juwita that I’ll miss hearing her voice because it has become so familiar all throughout the conference. There is such joy that emanates from her and I thank God for someone like Joni who can rejoice because of her suffering.

That’s all from me. Keep an eye out for my pix soon. I’ve gotta get em’ off my phone and upload em’ in a bit.



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